...I go nursing my baby. Yes, the co-sleeping - not so much. Little Bud kept waking and wanting to nurse, to play, not to sleep. So for the past few nights he's been camping out in his Pack-n-Play in his nursery, and we've been sleeping solo.
I'm grateful that my husband is who he is for many reasons, and I am especially grateful that he is often more committed to this whole idea of attachment parenting than I. He said to me the other day, "Let's do this co-sleeping thing. It will take a few nights for us all to adjust and we'll be really tired, but let's start on Friday and we'll have the weekend to work it out." I'm glad he's here to keep me accountable, because I really do want to co-sleep, I'm just a wimp in the moment - hey, I like my sleep.
So, as we speak, my dear hubby is disassembling my beautiful white iron headboard/footboard and attaching the crib to the box spring of our mattress, which is now on the floor. (This was part of the deal - bed on the floor. I think I wasn't sleeping well also in part to the fact that I was afraid of Little Bud scooting off the bed and taking the 4 foot plunge to the hardwood floor. It was a high bed frame!) Little Bud is sleeping in his nursery again, but when he inevitably wakes, we'll bring him in with us. I have the best hubby ever. :)
Middle Eastern Noodles with Yogurt, Squash and Almonds for dinner! Hopefully soon - it's 9:17 p.m.
And hopefully, a good night's rest as well.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Loneliness
It's (finally!) starting to feel like springtime here. Praise the Lord! Little Bud and I went on a walk around a lake this afternoon with two friends. It was a nice time - cold, windy, good company.
But I am lonely.
I need a best "girl" friend. I've always had trouble with friends - I'm different, have different interests, they move away, whatever. Now that I find myself in this crazy world of parenting, I am realizing that our parenting choices are creating a great divide in my friendships. Not the kind of divide that causes arguments, but the kind that ... well, here is an example. I've had trouble with mastitis/plugged ducts for my entire nursing career, and while it's really horrible, I am not ready to wean. Little Bud is not ready either. But when I complain about my problems and how I cannot find a solution, it's countered with, "Well, they say to get maximum benefits you only have to nurse for 6 months. You're well beyond that, he's fine." Or suggestions to let Little Bud cry it out when he wakes at night. Here's the thing about that - I'm NOT okay with the method, and he is waking because he needs me, he needs/wants to nurse. Granted, I should probably just shut up and quit complaining (I complain about it a lot), but it's really not THAT bad. Oh sure, I'd love to get a full night's sleep. But my baby needs me. So bottom line, my friends don't understand the way I parent, and the way that I parent is a huge part of who I am and what consumes my thoughts.
I am confident in the choices we are making as parents. I wish I had someone who understood, respected that, and could relate. That I got along with and had that special friend "connection." Lord, please bring me a such a friend.
But I am lonely.
I need a best "girl" friend. I've always had trouble with friends - I'm different, have different interests, they move away, whatever. Now that I find myself in this crazy world of parenting, I am realizing that our parenting choices are creating a great divide in my friendships. Not the kind of divide that causes arguments, but the kind that ... well, here is an example. I've had trouble with mastitis/plugged ducts for my entire nursing career, and while it's really horrible, I am not ready to wean. Little Bud is not ready either. But when I complain about my problems and how I cannot find a solution, it's countered with, "Well, they say to get maximum benefits you only have to nurse for 6 months. You're well beyond that, he's fine." Or suggestions to let Little Bud cry it out when he wakes at night. Here's the thing about that - I'm NOT okay with the method, and he is waking because he needs me, he needs/wants to nurse. Granted, I should probably just shut up and quit complaining (I complain about it a lot), but it's really not THAT bad. Oh sure, I'd love to get a full night's sleep. But my baby needs me. So bottom line, my friends don't understand the way I parent, and the way that I parent is a huge part of who I am and what consumes my thoughts.
I am confident in the choices we are making as parents. I wish I had someone who understood, respected that, and could relate. That I got along with and had that special friend "connection." Lord, please bring me a such a friend.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
The Unthinkable
I went to the co-op yesterday. I bought some tempeh, sprouted wheat tortillas, and some Annie's MacnCheese for lunch as a treat for myself. I left some business cards (hopefully someone will contact me!) and felt pretty dang good about our adventure out.
But then... tragedy struck. I realized that I had no milk at home to make my mac, and I didn't really want to stop again for milk.
I was devastated.
Until I realized that I did have something I could use in my fridge. So I did the unthinkable.
I made mac and cheese with breastmilk. And I ate it. And it was delicious.
Couldn't even tell the difference. HA!
I know what you're thinking. "You won't even eat red meat! And you ate your own breastmilk?!"
Yes, yes I did. And I'd do it again if I had to - probably not just for fun... but it was perfectly healthy and did the trick. So remember dear readers, not to fear the breastmilk - it can be a lifesaver (or lunch-saver). :)
But then... tragedy struck. I realized that I had no milk at home to make my mac, and I didn't really want to stop again for milk.
I was devastated.
Until I realized that I did have something I could use in my fridge. So I did the unthinkable.
I made mac and cheese with breastmilk. And I ate it. And it was delicious.
Couldn't even tell the difference. HA!
I know what you're thinking. "You won't even eat red meat! And you ate your own breastmilk?!"
Yes, yes I did. And I'd do it again if I had to - probably not just for fun... but it was perfectly healthy and did the trick. So remember dear readers, not to fear the breastmilk - it can be a lifesaver (or lunch-saver). :)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Struggle
I've been blessed to be able to nurse my baby for his whole life - 11 months and one week (exactly, actually!).
That being said - blessings aren't always "easy." Nursing has NOT been easy.
Not only did I deal with rather common beginning nursing issues, but I had mastitis when Little Bud was a week and half old. It was the sickest I've been in my life, and I'd rather go through almost anything than do that again. (Note: I probably had some other sort of infection simultaneously too... who knows.) I've had plugged ducts since then almost every week, and mastitis probably more times than I have realized.
Today is no different. Plugged duct #548, here we go. I have my regiment of things I do (it's down to a science, really) - hot rice sock, lecithin, extra water, hot showers, extra nursing on that side, Vitamin C, probiotics, massage, rest. But my problem isn't what to do when I get them, it's how NOT to get them.
Any advice out there?
I really do not want to wean. Little Bud is not ready for that, and honestly, neither am I. I love to nurse! I would do it for years if I didn't have this issue. (Which also frustrates me - I know women who have no issues with nursing and they can't wait to wean at a year... jealousy.)
So I could use some prayers. I'm really tired of this, and I feel like I've gotten no answers that work for me. I've talked to other moms who have nursed, LLL, and researched online. I'm going to make a doctor's appt. soon, just to check stuff out. So prayers please.
That being said - blessings aren't always "easy." Nursing has NOT been easy.
Not only did I deal with rather common beginning nursing issues, but I had mastitis when Little Bud was a week and half old. It was the sickest I've been in my life, and I'd rather go through almost anything than do that again. (Note: I probably had some other sort of infection simultaneously too... who knows.) I've had plugged ducts since then almost every week, and mastitis probably more times than I have realized.
Today is no different. Plugged duct #548, here we go. I have my regiment of things I do (it's down to a science, really) - hot rice sock, lecithin, extra water, hot showers, extra nursing on that side, Vitamin C, probiotics, massage, rest. But my problem isn't what to do when I get them, it's how NOT to get them.
Any advice out there?
I really do not want to wean. Little Bud is not ready for that, and honestly, neither am I. I love to nurse! I would do it for years if I didn't have this issue. (Which also frustrates me - I know women who have no issues with nursing and they can't wait to wean at a year... jealousy.)
So I could use some prayers. I'm really tired of this, and I feel like I've gotten no answers that work for me. I've talked to other moms who have nursed, LLL, and researched online. I'm going to make a doctor's appt. soon, just to check stuff out. So prayers please.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Greek Yogurt and Update
To all my devoted readers: <insert giggle here>
I'm back! I had whole-heartedly hoped to post every day, but I have been rather distracted with DONA Doula Training! Friday through Sunday, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., talking birth. It was fantastic - I had a feeling it would be good, but WOW - so much better than I imagined! There were 20 of us women (who the sweet trainer, Marilyn, called "doulas" - so great) and we really bonded. I know what you're thinking - but really, we did. We all came with different experiences and from various viewpoints, but we connected over the issue of birth, and it was beautiful. We are going to make a positive difference in the birth world! As doulas, midwives, postpartum doulas, nurses, birth educators, advocates.
It was also a very freeing experience for me, in that - for the first time in my life - I am confident. I know what I want to do. I know that I can do it, and will be good at it (eventually). I feel comfortable in my own skin. Example: When Marilyn asked for volunteers, I raised my hand and volunteered. I NEVER would have done that in the past, for fear of making a mistake or looking stupid. More Extreme Example: I used an electric breast pump in front of 20 women I didn't know. I also nursed my baby - uncovered - later in the day. (This was for the day devoted to breastfeeding.) It wasn't weird or strange, and I felt that I really helped some of the women who didn't have children or didn't breastfeed understand a bit better. But you know, that's how the whole experience was - we all knew unique information, shared it, and respected one another. It was beautiful.
On a less emotional note - I LOVE GREEK YOGURT! I am new to so many things, and this is no exception. Try it - it's delicious. I'd rather eat this than ice cream (yikes right!). It is different than regular yogurt in that it is thicker, creamier, and has twice the amount of protein. It has great probiotics, and you can get it plain or flavored - I love honey and pomegranate. I've tried Yoplait, Chobani, and Fage and I have to say - Yoplait doesn't hold a candle. The Chobani pomegranate is so great - if you like raspberry yogurt, try this - it's a bit more tart but oh so yummy. Healthy, delicious... you get the picture.
So this week will be very busy. I need to clean my house, organize, work, prepare for a baby shower I'm throwing on Sunday and for my Bradley classes I'm teaching... going to be interesting. But three cheers for a fabulous weekend - I cannot wait to be a doula!!
I'm back! I had whole-heartedly hoped to post every day, but I have been rather distracted with DONA Doula Training! Friday through Sunday, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., talking birth. It was fantastic - I had a feeling it would be good, but WOW - so much better than I imagined! There were 20 of us women (who the sweet trainer, Marilyn, called "doulas" - so great) and we really bonded. I know what you're thinking - but really, we did. We all came with different experiences and from various viewpoints, but we connected over the issue of birth, and it was beautiful. We are going to make a positive difference in the birth world! As doulas, midwives, postpartum doulas, nurses, birth educators, advocates.
It was also a very freeing experience for me, in that - for the first time in my life - I am confident. I know what I want to do. I know that I can do it, and will be good at it (eventually). I feel comfortable in my own skin. Example: When Marilyn asked for volunteers, I raised my hand and volunteered. I NEVER would have done that in the past, for fear of making a mistake or looking stupid. More Extreme Example: I used an electric breast pump in front of 20 women I didn't know. I also nursed my baby - uncovered - later in the day. (This was for the day devoted to breastfeeding.) It wasn't weird or strange, and I felt that I really helped some of the women who didn't have children or didn't breastfeed understand a bit better. But you know, that's how the whole experience was - we all knew unique information, shared it, and respected one another. It was beautiful.
On a less emotional note - I LOVE GREEK YOGURT! I am new to so many things, and this is no exception. Try it - it's delicious. I'd rather eat this than ice cream (yikes right!). It is different than regular yogurt in that it is thicker, creamier, and has twice the amount of protein. It has great probiotics, and you can get it plain or flavored - I love honey and pomegranate. I've tried Yoplait, Chobani, and Fage and I have to say - Yoplait doesn't hold a candle. The Chobani pomegranate is so great - if you like raspberry yogurt, try this - it's a bit more tart but oh so yummy. Healthy, delicious... you get the picture.
So this week will be very busy. I need to clean my house, organize, work, prepare for a baby shower I'm throwing on Sunday and for my Bradley classes I'm teaching... going to be interesting. But three cheers for a fabulous weekend - I cannot wait to be a doula!!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Instinct... in parenting?
I am certain that as long as language has existed, so has advice about how to parent. You can't find a thrift store anywhere that doesn't have a copy of "What to Expect When You're Expecting" (side note: a sign to its un-usefulness?!) and there's a whole section at the book store on the topic (parenting that is, not the efficacy of WTEWYE). There are methods and magazines, unsolicited advice at the grocery and church, and that ever condescending phrase, "Just you wait!"
I am a "girly girl." However, how I escaped childhood without owning a baby doll is beyond me. My only sibling, Annie, is only 3.5 years younger than me, and I grew up without a lot of babies around. Once, when I was perhaps 10 years old, I remember visiting a family friend who had recently given birth. I was sweating bullets at the thought of holding said baby, and here I was, a mere 14 years later, holding my own infant. Luckily, the hormone-overload I had going on after a fabulous all-natural birth blinded my fear of what to do next - after all, I didn't even have the childhood practice to go on.
Parenting. With so many options, what's a girl with no experience to do?
I think that in the early days of mama-hood, someone told me, "You'll know what to do. You will know in your heart; go with that." Yet everything my heart was telling me was contrary to the way I was raised (and the way that most of America raises their kids). I had succeeded in giving birth naturally, a feat that was scoffed at by most of my family (I tend to say I'm going to do grand things and then wimp out or lose interest, so this was a huge accomplishment personally, if not physically). Now I needed to "follow my heart" - what?! So I bought my cloth diapers, assembled the bassinet next to our bed, and tried breastfeeding. I did what I thought was best for my baby, but I was also flying by the seat of my pants.
{Note bene: There are so many topics to address here! Don't worry; I'll get to them in the future.}
Something that my husband and I did not anticipate was co-sleeping. When we first heard of it in our prenatal Bradley classes, we were apprehensive to say the least. Wasn't that dangerous? I'm a wild sleeper and have a hard time sleeping with my husband; wouldn't adding a baby to the mix be disastrous? What about "our space"?
But when we brought our Little Bud home from the hospital, co-sleeping didn't look so bad. In fact, it was my husband who suggested we try it. I was still nervous, so we asked our doula on her postpartum visit - of course she was in support of it. :)
Co-sleeping can be done in various ways. As a baby, our Little Bud slept in a bassinet next to our bed. We tried sleeping with him in our bed, but that did not always go so well - he got squirrely or I didn't sleep well (or at all). So we moved him into his own room - and he started waking a bunch at night to nurse. Then I came across an idea on a fantastic blog: drmomma.org We turned our convertible crib into a co-sleeper! By taking off one side of the crib (so it looks like it's toddler bed form) and attaching it to our bed frame with bungee cords - voila! Co-sleeper magic. Little Bud gets his room, we get ours, and he can nurse and go back to sleep without a peep. So excited.
(When we finished setting it up, we put him in it - he rolled around, explored, laughed - sort of like, "YES! You guys finally got this right. THIS is how we're supposed to sleep!")
After thinking about it for a bit, I realized - this is a very natural way to sleep. People for centuries have "shared sleep." I bet that Mary and Joseph and Baby Jesus slept all together, snuggled on the hay and then again in their home in Nazareth. What caused the shift to separate sleeping? Maybe it was with the introduction of formula; women didn't need to have their babies next to them to breastfeed during the night. Maybe it was with more wealth - folks could afford to have separate rooms for babies. I don't know for sure, but the answer is out there somewhere. At any rate, it seems and feels natural, instinctual. That's something that I didn't expect - that given my lack of preparation for such a task as motherhood, that I could rely (to some degree) on instinct and it would work out for our family. And that other people would agree with us. Eureka!
It is funny, too - I feel that since we've started this arrangement, Little Bud has been happier. More connected to us. Perhaps I'm creating this in my mind; perhaps it's really true. At any rate, it's only going to be Night 3 tonight, but we love it so far. Enjoy some photos of the arrangement.
Long long story short - I have a feeling that instinct is going to play a big role in our choices as parents, and that is just fine. It's more than fine, actually, because it's the natural... instinctual way, if you will. :)
I am a "girly girl." However, how I escaped childhood without owning a baby doll is beyond me. My only sibling, Annie, is only 3.5 years younger than me, and I grew up without a lot of babies around. Once, when I was perhaps 10 years old, I remember visiting a family friend who had recently given birth. I was sweating bullets at the thought of holding said baby, and here I was, a mere 14 years later, holding my own infant. Luckily, the hormone-overload I had going on after a fabulous all-natural birth blinded my fear of what to do next - after all, I didn't even have the childhood practice to go on.
Parenting. With so many options, what's a girl with no experience to do?
I think that in the early days of mama-hood, someone told me, "You'll know what to do. You will know in your heart; go with that." Yet everything my heart was telling me was contrary to the way I was raised (and the way that most of America raises their kids). I had succeeded in giving birth naturally, a feat that was scoffed at by most of my family (I tend to say I'm going to do grand things and then wimp out or lose interest, so this was a huge accomplishment personally, if not physically). Now I needed to "follow my heart" - what?! So I bought my cloth diapers, assembled the bassinet next to our bed, and tried breastfeeding. I did what I thought was best for my baby, but I was also flying by the seat of my pants.
{Note bene: There are so many topics to address here! Don't worry; I'll get to them in the future.}
Something that my husband and I did not anticipate was co-sleeping. When we first heard of it in our prenatal Bradley classes, we were apprehensive to say the least. Wasn't that dangerous? I'm a wild sleeper and have a hard time sleeping with my husband; wouldn't adding a baby to the mix be disastrous? What about "our space"?
But when we brought our Little Bud home from the hospital, co-sleeping didn't look so bad. In fact, it was my husband who suggested we try it. I was still nervous, so we asked our doula on her postpartum visit - of course she was in support of it. :)
Co-sleeping can be done in various ways. As a baby, our Little Bud slept in a bassinet next to our bed. We tried sleeping with him in our bed, but that did not always go so well - he got squirrely or I didn't sleep well (or at all). So we moved him into his own room - and he started waking a bunch at night to nurse. Then I came across an idea on a fantastic blog: drmomma.org We turned our convertible crib into a co-sleeper! By taking off one side of the crib (so it looks like it's toddler bed form) and attaching it to our bed frame with bungee cords - voila! Co-sleeper magic. Little Bud gets his room, we get ours, and he can nurse and go back to sleep without a peep. So excited.
(When we finished setting it up, we put him in it - he rolled around, explored, laughed - sort of like, "YES! You guys finally got this right. THIS is how we're supposed to sleep!")
After thinking about it for a bit, I realized - this is a very natural way to sleep. People for centuries have "shared sleep." I bet that Mary and Joseph and Baby Jesus slept all together, snuggled on the hay and then again in their home in Nazareth. What caused the shift to separate sleeping? Maybe it was with the introduction of formula; women didn't need to have their babies next to them to breastfeed during the night. Maybe it was with more wealth - folks could afford to have separate rooms for babies. I don't know for sure, but the answer is out there somewhere. At any rate, it seems and feels natural, instinctual. That's something that I didn't expect - that given my lack of preparation for such a task as motherhood, that I could rely (to some degree) on instinct and it would work out for our family. And that other people would agree with us. Eureka!
It is funny, too - I feel that since we've started this arrangement, Little Bud has been happier. More connected to us. Perhaps I'm creating this in my mind; perhaps it's really true. At any rate, it's only going to be Night 3 tonight, but we love it so far. Enjoy some photos of the arrangement.
Long long story short - I have a feeling that instinct is going to play a big role in our choices as parents, and that is just fine. It's more than fine, actually, because it's the natural... instinctual way, if you will. :)
Monday, March 21, 2011
The Accidental Attachment Parent
So, I'm Kate. And I'm an accidental attachment parent.
My son was born last April, and before he was born I had never held a newborn baby, let alone changed a diaper. Today, my husband and I find ourselves to be parenting a thriving baby in the "attachment parenting" style. In this blog, I will explore our experiences and hopefully hear from someone (anyone out there?) who is going through similar experiences.
Some words to describe our family: Catholic; cloth-diapering; co-sleeping; extended breastfeeding (hopefully!); crazy; musical; city-dwelling; dance partying; and a whole lot more...
But baby is waking and I need to go. Don't worry; I'll be back!
My son was born last April, and before he was born I had never held a newborn baby, let alone changed a diaper. Today, my husband and I find ourselves to be parenting a thriving baby in the "attachment parenting" style. In this blog, I will explore our experiences and hopefully hear from someone (anyone out there?) who is going through similar experiences.
Some words to describe our family: Catholic; cloth-diapering; co-sleeping; extended breastfeeding (hopefully!); crazy; musical; city-dwelling; dance partying; and a whole lot more...
But baby is waking and I need to go. Don't worry; I'll be back!
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